15th
the body breaks;
i am trying not to let myself get too close. i am trying to separate these feelings to see a full concept of things. i like looking at you, even the little things;the way you make that sideways smile when i make a smart ass remark;even when we sometimes can’t even look at each other in the eye for longer than the limited time we give ourselves. i am nervous around you. sometimes my anxiety gets so bad knowing that you are in the same building and that i am about to walk into that same area;my legs quiver and my body trembles when i feel you near. i don’t know what this is; i don’t know what this means. i am actually pretty skeptical of finding out the answer. i want to be straight out with you, just like i am about everything else. the last thing i need is the thought of missing you when there is nothing to miss.
i wanted to feel this way again but i had forgotten the price you pay in return.
